In the life of each parent comes a period when the child becomes a schoolboy.
In many ways, the adaptation of the child during the school period depends on the process of education. School is the second place after kindergarten, where children socialize: learn to communicate, negotiate, defend their position, “look for themselves”, make friends, etc. It happens that for certain reasons children refuse to go to school.
What are the reasons discourage the child to attend school?
It often happens that a child in 5-6 years already knows how to read and write, and parents decide that their children are ready to learn and send to school. But, in addition to the level of intellectual development, parents should pay attention to other qualities of the child, which determine his readiness for school.
• Physiological development. If physiologically the child is ready to go to school, then he must have assiduity, the ability not to be distracted, performing a specific task for at least 15 minutes. The student must have a developed sense of time, almost like an adult. If physiologically the child is not yet ripe for the learning process, then the teacher will have constant complaints, comments on bad behavior, restlessness, and distraction of classmates.
• Morphological development. Determined by the proportions of the body and checked "Philippine test." To do this, the child is asked to reach with his right hand to his left ear, raising and lowering his hand over his head. An adult will do it with ease, but if the kid cannot perform such an exercise, then his hands are still short, respectively, the body is not ready for school. First of all, it is connected with the level of maturation of the nervous system and the ability to perceive and process information. Such a test is often the main indicator for determining the "school maturity" of children.
Thus, if the physiological or morphological maturation has not yet arrived, then the child will be very difficult to study at school. Maturity in each person takes place individually and the passport age may differ sharply from the biological one. If suddenly your child has a low level of physiological and morphological development, then, if possible, it is better to wait another year before giving it to school. During this time, these processes in the children's body will ripen and it will be completely ready. Otherwise, the child may decrease motivation to learn, refusal to attend school will appear, which will cause a complete negative attitude towards learning in general.
As in any team, the student may have problems in communicating with peers. The cause of the conflict can be found out from the child.
In order for him to share and open up, it is necessary to calmly and unobtrusively start a conversation, pronouncing the emotions and state of the child that you saw on his face. If you demand and crush, the child will "close in on itself" and all your attempts will be in vain.
You can also go to the teacher and find out the details of the situation.
But in no case can one intervene in the conflict of children and deal with the peers of your child themselves - this can aggravate the situation.
He must himself adequately get out of this situation with the help of your advice or following the recommendations of a psychologist.
Another common reason for not attending school. Listen to all complaints. child on the teacher with whom he has a conflict, but do not make hasty conclusions. It is not necessary to shout and swear that he did not close in himself and did not close completely. We must listen to both sides.
Come to the teacher and calmly, no matter how difficult it is, tell us what happened according to your child. Then learn the point of view of the teacher, to be objective. Understand that the teacher besides your child has at least 20 more people and is not easy for him. Try to get into his position and support by speaking that you understand how hard it is to hold attention and find contact with so many children at the same time.
Listen to the teacher's opinion and try. jointly find a way out from the current situation, which would suit everyone. If you begin to defend the rights of the child, then you will have a conflict with the teacher, and this will not resolve the situation, but will only aggravate it. You can connect the school psychologist, who soberly assess the situation and help you find the right way out.
Sometimes it happens that parents give their child to a prestigious school, lyceum or gymnasium, but they cannot provide him with the same “status” that his classmates have. Fashionable and cool gadgets - that is the measure of being the first, the best among others. If someone does not comply with such "standards", falls into outsiders, becomes a black sheep and a reason for ridicule.
Parents should remember that while their baby goes to kindergarten, peers of particular importance on clothes and toys do not pay attention. But in school it is better to comply with the accepted conditions and environment. Children's world is cruel and if you want society to accept your child, Provide appropriate conditions or transfer to a school easier.
Allow the little man to choose their own things, based on the "school fashion". This does not mean that you should buy him super fancy fashionable items in the boutique, but certainly not the ones that seem warmer and prettier to you. The child knows better what to choose, so as not to stand out from the masses.
Gradually and unobtrusively explain to your child that it is better to stand out with some achievements and qualities that will be useful in life and will help to achieve more. But you yourself must understand that in order to break out of the gray mass, the child must first become “his own”, help him in this, and he will be able to achieve more.
5. The child does not want to go to school - he does not have time for other children, he has a heavy load, he gets tired
Conditions can be the same as in the previous reason - the desire of parents to have their child study at a prestigious school. Often, in such schools, there are high demands and heavy loads that not all children can handle. If your child has an average intelligence development, then it is very difficult for him to “reach out” and his powers do not correspond to the tasks and requirements.
Every parent wants the best for their child. The balance between abilities and requirements of an educational institution will help maintain a child's good motivation to learn and attend school throughout the entire educational process.
The teacher is not able to constantly spend time with your baby and pull it up. From this, the teacher may be annoyed at him, and classmates will begin to laugh.
If you want your child to continue studying at this school, then you will have to study with him at home or hire a tutor, but do not overdo it. Make sure that the child does not overwork, otherwise the body will start to fail, and there and close to the disease.
6. The child does not want to go to school - loss of interest in learning
Children learn easily and better in a playful way. Here a lot depends on the teacher, but not every teacher can be interested in and conduct a lesson so that it is interesting, exciting and playfully.
If your child got such a teacher, you can teach your child how interesting it is to study the material using various sources of information.
Also, the reason for the loss of interest in learning can be the rapid development of new information and the implementation of all tasks in the classroom. The teacher focuses on the average grade, but there are children who very quickly cope with the tasks and they get bored.
If your child belongs to the category of such, then you need to establish good contact with the teacher, convince him to give difficult tasks or increase their number. In this case, the student will be busy and the teacher’s problems will not arise with him. In extreme cases, you can try to transfer the child to the class or school more feasibly.
7. The child does not want to school - the pressure from the parents
Every parent knows that the main task of the child is to learn, learn and learn again.
If parents are under constant pressure and they force their children to learn better than they are at the moment, they are punished for their unjustified expectations, then sooner or later the child will begin to hate both the school and the parents.
It is necessary to talk with children and explain that they need to study, and not you. Explain that good grades and high scores on the exam and GIA will allow you to enroll in the school that the child wants.
The best motivation for learning is his own understanding of the importance of learning. In this you can help him, using the "Socratic dialogue."
Such communication involves asking questions in a way that contributes to the work of thinking, concentration.
Example: - Sasha, who do you want to be when you grow up?
- A doctor.
- And what should be done to get the profession of a doctor?
- Finish medical university.
- What do you need to finish it?
- enroll.
- And what to do to do, etc.
A series of questions you let the child down to the moment when he says that it is necessary to study for a good knowledge of the subject, which will help to become an excellent specialist.
General guidelines for parents to keep their children willing to attend school
1. Be a friend to your child.. If the relationship is not established, then there is no question of any confidence on the part of the child. To do this, try to always listen to all that he says without a doubt and put yourself in his place in order to understand better. If you criticize, scold him, he closes, will not tell anything. Then about his problems, school life, peer relations you will have to learn from the mouth of a teacher, director or other children.
To control the situation and in time to come to the rescue, you must have information. Only friendships will help you to be aware of all the life events of your child.
2. Teach your child to independently disassemble and study the material., if he did not understand something in the lesson. On the Internet you can find a huge amount of material in an interesting presentation and with an explanation. Explain that a teacher cannot individually engage with each student. If you see that the child has started to decline marks on some subject, it is important to talk with him, perhaps he did not understand some topic, the guys went further, and he was stuck on this one. Help to make out the material for him or hire a tutor so that the learning gap does not accumulate like a snowball.
3. Establish friendships with the teacher. Show empathy, empathy towards the teacher. He is your ally and your task is to work together so that both the teacher and the student are good. Offer your help, thank the teacher for helping your child become an adult, intelligent, successful and educated person.
4. If something goes wrong with you or you don’t know what to do, refer to the school psychologist or another specialist. The main thing is not to harm your child, and a qualified specialist will help to solve the problem better, faster and more qualitatively.
If you want your school years to pass calmly and easily with you and your child, you must try to teach your child to communicate with peers, teachers and independently look for a solution to the tasks set. But at any moment you should be near, support and help him.
If you need to explain something, try to play the situation with the child, where he himself will be in the role of the offender, and you will play his role. Nothing helps to understand another person as being in his “skin”.
Be a child friend, then he will listen to your advice, trust and ask for help. Support, praise and love your child. You are a team!
